because Sharon also posted them

Clowning around in Morgantown with Sharon:

Everyone thinks she’s so shy and quiet . . .

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RJBNzkR_qY[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csBs8t22f_4[/youtube]

my funny valentine

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q79a4xMW2N8[/youtube]

men only think about one thing

Pre-hysterectomy conversation between me and my husband:

Me:  Are you going to be okay with me being out of commission for a couple of weeks?

Him:  It’s going to be really hard.

Me:  Well, my mom and your mom will be here to help you out.

Him:  Wait.  What were you talking about?

Straight No Chaser

Thanks to Suzanne and Kirsten for sharing this lovely Christmas carol with me. I liked it so much that I ordered a CD and DVD by this group yesterday.

And, I crack up every time the guy starts singing the Dreidel Song.

Merry Christmas!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fe11OlMiz8[/youtube]

I just wanna know . . .

Is it wrong that my grocery list for my evening home alone with my husband included tortilla chips, pepper jack cheese, tequila, and crushed ice and the only item I remembered to buy was tequila?

(In case you’re wondering, the menu was nachos, margaritas, and lurve.)

the birdcage

I’m sick.

Miserably sick.

The type of sick where you feel like you might have enough energy to take a shower except you find that you don’t and you stand swaying, pale-faced and sweaty, in front of the bathroom mirror and you clutch at the sink for support and consider sticking your face in the sink just because the porcelain looks cool and inviting.

Yes, that sick.

But I have to advise that, if one must get so sick, one should have friends like mine around to make life bearable.

My illness started on Sunday. I attempted to lessen my misery by taking a daytime cold remedy. Regular cold remedies knock me out cold (heh) for a minimum of eight hours. Daytime cold remedies, however, make me loopy. They make everyone wish I was knocked out cold instead of flitting about acting stoned and silly. Hence, my conversation with Sharon:

“Sharon.”

“Hmmmm?”

“Which drug makes you feel like your eyes are open, even when they are closed?”

“Girl, you’re trippin’.”

After making poor Sharon suffer my looniness all day Sunday (I am a drunken dialer. I call my friends when I am under the influence and make them listen to me.), I decided daytime cold medicine was not my friend.

And then, tonight, I was lamenting to her that the movie store did not have a copy of The Birdcage. If there was one movie that I felt could make my life bearable during this miserable bout with the flu, it would have been The Birdcage. And just what kind of movie store doesn’t have The Birdcage in stock? I ask you.

But Sharon came to my rescue again when she pulled up quotes from the movie and acted them out using all of the voices and accents until I was laughing so hard I thought I might pee. Seriously.

My personal favorite was when she did this scene:

Agador: My father was the shaman of his tribe and my mother was the high priestess.
Armand: So why the hell did they move to New Jersey?
Agador: I don’t know, they’re so stupid.

Sharon does a dead on Hank Azaria/Agador impersonation. I’m just sayin’.

It’s my conclusion that all of the cold and flu remedies are pretty frackin’ useless but the old cliched medicine? Laughter? It is a tried and true cure.
Thanks, Sharon. I am so glad you are my best friend.

a post about underwear. i’ll regret it in the morning.

A local department store was having a lingerie sale the other day. I bought a hot pink bra because it was 70% off and hey, every girl needs a hot pink bra. Right?

The bra only cost a few dollars and was totally an impulsive purchase but, People! It is the best fitting bra I’ve ever owned. All of the women out there will, I think, agree with me that finding a bra that not only fits correctly in girth and cup size but also has straps that stay up on the shoulder and, last but not least, is pretty and/or sexy and/or cute is a challenge. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I had a good-fitting bra.

After falling in lurve with my cheap, hot pink bra, I decided I must have more! In the past, I’ve discovered well-fit, comfortable bras and not bought several of them and regretted it later because, the good-fitting bras? They are always discontinued. It is a conspiracy.

I was ever so happy to find not one, but two! bras in my size on the clearance rack when I returned to the store. (One was pink, one was blue.) And since I was feeling sassy, I also picked out some coordinating panties from the rack. Hipsters. A style I have not experimented with thus far.

I paid almost nothing for my priceless parcels and fairly skipped out of the store feeling giddy and blessed by God.

Does anyone else think it’s sad that buying inexpensive, brightly colored, form-fitting underwear can make a girl so happy?

I made an elf of myself

This was fun:
I made an elf of myself

So was this:

Don’t shoot your eye out!Â

Enjoy!

it’s the most wonderful time of the year

Brad and I attended a Christmas party tonight at our friends Carol and Jim’s house. The babysitter picked the boys up an hour early in order to take them to a Christmas parade thus leaving Brad and me an hour and a half to get ready for the party. And yet, we were thirty minutes late.

Our contribution to the party was pepper jack queso. It was delicious and a huge hit. I recommend that you try it. Just buy the new pepper jack velveeta and melt it with a can of Rotel tomatoes and green chiles. Easy, yet so yummy!

I spent a lot of time fixing my hair tonight because I was trying to get it to look similar to the way it looked when I attended the Barbra Streisand concert a few weeks ago. However, the hairstylist used 53 bobby pins and three ponytail holders to achieve this look:

 

I didn’t have the patience to jack with all those bobby pins so I improvised and put my hair up in a clip. I think it looked pretty good:

 

Brad and I had a great time. Brenda took this picture about halfway through the night:

 

But my favorite picture is this one. I shall have to tell you about it since there was no way to get enough detail into the photo to explain why my husband is clutching his face and his *ahem*. Several of the guys were playing pool and Carol expressed concern that her window might be broken when the players broke the pool balls with their first shot. Brad gallantly offered to place his body between the window and the pool table but he did have the presence of mind to protect what he considers to be his important bits.

 

 

Ah, the holiday season has begun.

Wife

I’ve been working hard over the past two weeks. Not at work; at home. I know most of you work hard at home. I work at home, of course, but I have lived a charmed life over the past five years because we have employed a nanny for the boys. She did a great deal around the house, too. She did at least two-thirds of the laundry, she kept the house picked up and, when she had time, she did a great deal of the heavy cleaning. Not to mention the fact that she picked the boys up from school several times a week.

Now that Crash is in all day kindergarten, the babysitter isn’t working for us as much. I schedule my workdays so that I go to work after I drop the kids at school and leave work in time to pick them up in the afternoon. I’ve had the babysitter pick them up twice in the past two weeks but it was only because the kids were begging to see her and her son. Both times, she was only here at the house for an hour or less and thus didn’t do any housework. Plus, the babysitter is working part-time at the school since I don’t need her full-time anymore. So even if I caved and paid her extra to keep doing some of the housework, she wouldn’t be able to do all that much.
It’s been a rude awakening for me to have to take up the slack and do all that needs to be done around here. As I told Brad once, I am a princess. Princesses sit around and look pretty. That’s their job. Well, he didn’t buy that story any more than you do but he never objected to the babysitter helping me out.

I was telling Brenda the other day that I am exhausted and my back hurts from all of the mopping, vacuuming, dishwashing, and laundry I’ve been doing lately. I told her I have to go to work just to rest. Brenda and I discussed it and came to this conclusion:

1. I had a wife,
2. My wife took a job outside the home,
3. I am feeling lost without my wife