A Drunken post for you this holiday season. Merry Christmas from me to you.

First, let me say that I am a teeny bit tipsy at the moment. And by tipsy I mean I can’t feel my fingers. I am also IMing Moogie. Yo Moooogie! ‘Sup? Holla back now! Moogs was drinking too. Does your head hurt today, Moogs?

Brad and I started the day by giving all those conformists out there the finger–figuratively speaking. He was up late working on a problem for the hospital which means that I was up as well. So, this morning when the alarm went off, we were both tired and neither willing to sacrifice and give up extra sleep to get the boys ready for school. The boys were tired too. There have been so many extra activities for the Christmas season that they are worn out. And Bump coughed all night so I know he was tired. So, we all slept late. Bump got to school at 9:00 and Crash stayed home from school because he only goes for a half-day.

The kicker is that I was only at work for 10 minutes before I got a call from the babysitter telling me I had to come home because she had a family emergency. So, it sucked for my pocketbook, but rocked for my home life. I came home and played with Crash and chatted with Sharon. By the way, Sharon, if this post sucks due to my drunkenness it is your responsibility as a friend to tell me to delete it. Mkay?

Now I have to tell you about my “Oh my God!” moment this afternoon. Bump has a baby shark preserved in formaldehyde. I hate it. I hate anything preserved in formaldehyde. Most especially anything fishy in formaldehyde. Hhhanyway . . . I was getting a book off of the kids bookshelf and knocked the formaldehyde-y shark off of the shelf! Ack! The shark plummeted toward the floor and I, with my supergirl reflexes, caught it and ever so gently lowered it to the floor so it wouldn’t break. Do you know how much I would have puked if a fishy, formaldehyde-y shark had busted at my feet? I would have puked from now til Christmas and Brad would have been required to come home from work to clean the mess up. Here is a picture of the formaldehyde-y shark. Also sharing space on the shelf is the alligator head (yes, it is real) and the skull of I-forget-what-that-animal-it-is. Oh yes, and mother? Your ass would have been grass since you bought that horrible thing for the child.

On to the rest of my day. . . The reason for my present condition is Brad’s dinner request. He asked for nachos and margaritas. I obliged, thus my present drunken state. Brad and I both accidentally spilled frozen margarita all over our faces while trying to take a drink. I started laughing and then snorted. That was when I realized I was a little drunk. Or as Moogie and I decided: drubn. I guess you had to be there. Here is a pic of my dinner. Except only one of the margaritas is mine. Note the green and red holiday corn chips. I am nothing if not Christmas-y.

Okay. That is all and that is enough. Merry Christmas. Good night and God Bless. Adios. Hasta Manana. See? I can spell even while drunk.

Prickly Pear Margaritas are Niiice

It is 2:3o am and I am more than a little drunk. But not as drunk as my cousin Destree (britnee’s sister). We had “girl’s night out” tonight. Started out at a place called Vivo’s where we had dinner and drank prickly pear and mango margaritas. Afterwards, we went to Coyote Ugly where we met up with the men from the family and wedding party. I did dance on the bar, but only briefly. My cousin Shawn’s wife danced on the bar quite a lot. The most disturbing thing was when my stepfather did a “body shot.” If y ou don’t know what that entails, I won’t explain it to you. Those of us who have good taste ( the females) decided Coyote Ugly sucks and went down the street to a piano bar. It was the coolest place ever! I would soooooooo do nothing but sing and play the piano for money if I had the talent. There was an awesome old hippie cowboy dude and a hot rocker dude singing and playing at first. Then this really funny gay guy anhd another guy played and it was just so amazingly fun. I had been refusing to dance earlier in the night (because I dance like a stiff) but I finally got drunk enough to loosen up. My cousin’s friend said, “I thought you couldn’t dance! Look at you!” I snorted, “I can’t dance! I am just really drunk!” Some nerdy guy that I actually really liked because he was a Hurricaine Katrina relief volunteer kept whispering in Britnee’s ear about Billy Joel.

The piano bar was so freaking awesome. I think I will become those piano dudes’ groupie. Whaddya think?

My cousin is so beautiful and sweet and she is still so sick. I feel so sorry for her. I am just praying that she feels better for her wedding and honeymoon. Do you think God accepts requests from drunk people?

OK. I really need to go. My lips are buzzing, My face is tired. Sorry for any typos. Incriminating photos to follow at a later date. Peace!

Code Blue. Family Room. Trauma Team to the Family Room STAT!

First, I should say that I am a little tipsy as I write this post. Brad and I had nachos and margaritas for dinner tonight and the margaritas were quite a bit stronger than I had anticipated. So right now my head is spinning just a little. Or is it the room that is spinning? Anyway, I do not have a problem blogging while drunk if you do not have a problem reading a drunk person’s post.

My computer was looking a little peaked this afternoon. I looked into it’s eye and it stared blankly back at me. Not quite fixed and dilated, but definitely not all there. I held my hand to it’s forehead and it seemed feverish. I thought a little reboot might help, but that seemed to send it into full-code status. I panicked as the black screen of death stared me full in the face. I screamed for the PC doctor! He came running and administered CPR. Once we had a rhythm, he backed up all of my files and folders and began the delicate process of brain surgery for my poor, frail PC. It took all afternoon, but some color has begun to come back to my screen and the PC doctor told me she has a good prognosis. It was touch and go for a little while, but she seems to have pulled through it as well as can be expected. See, this is the reason Living Wills are so very important! If your computer crashes, do you know it’s wishes regarding life support? It is nice having a PC doctor in the house, too. I do not need to repay him, however. If he ever has a heart attack, I will repay the favor in kind. He has his specialty and I have mine, after all.

Drinking Margaritas with Girlfriends is an honorable past-time

Just came back from a margarita party for my birthday–Thanks, Brenda. Mindy, Linda, BJ, Cathy, Carolyn, Rhonda, Barbara, Georgia were all there. Feeling a little tipsy–not drunk. Typing is more difficult than usual–keep having to backspace. My lips are numb–am mostly sleepy—much to hubby’s dismay.

Forgot my camera. Brenda took pics. Sorry, Bev. I didn’t get a pic of my outfit. My zipper wouldn’t stay up anyway. Stupid piece of crap pants! But they are really cute!

G’might.