Dentists and gynecologists appointments. I dislike them both equally. I usually cancel them a minimum of two times before I actually talk myself into showing up.
Now, I actually adore both my dentist and my gynecologist. It’s not them I have a problem with. It’s just . . . the indignity. And the fact that they always try to strike up a conversation whilst shoving things in various orifices.
In one case, I couldn’t reply if I wanted because I can’t form words while someone is scraping my teeth with a razor sharp instrument and sucking spit out of my mouth with that little sucky wand thingy. In the other case, I just find it incredibly inappropriate to carry on a conversation with someone whose head is between my knees. Plus? My gynecologist always forgets how I got the scar on my inner thigh and she runs her finger along it while asking, “What happened here?” and I get all weirded out.
 It just occurred to me that this may be the most disclosing and personal blog entry I’ve ever written. It wasn’t supposed to be.
All I really wanted to tell you is that I am notorious not only for missing dentist and gynecology appointments but I am also notoriously scatterbrained. Since I have mitral valve prolapse, I am required to take four 500 mg capsules of amoxicillin (that would choke a horse) one hour prior to my dental appointments. This doesn’t sound complicated unless you factor in that I absolutely never remember to pick up my premed until the last minute and, because of that, am always running slightly behind for my appointments (when I bother to keep them, that is).
That’s why I got a kick out of the voice mail left on my phone on Monday. It was from the secretary at the dentist’s office who has dealt with me for nearly eight years and has obviously got me all figured out.
“Heather, this is Robin at the dentist’s office. You have an appointment tomorrow at 10 AM. I have already called Brad and told him to pick up your premed on his way home from work today. See you in the morning!”
I laughed and laughed. The secretary has developed a strategy for bird brains like me. There’s no getting out of my dentist’s appointments anymore, methinks.
I don’t know. If I had to choose, I’d go with the dentist before the gyno.
That gets me to thinking: The dentist always gives you a free bottle of mouthwash after your check-ups. What the the gyno give you?
Comment by LBB — December 7, 2006 @ 12:39 am |
Huh, I’d rather go to the gynie– at least my insurance covers THAT!
Comment by Wahwer — December 7, 2006 @ 7:39 am |
Good Lord, LBB, have you never had a root canal??! Makes visiting the gynaecologist seem positively delightful!
Heather, I love the dental secretary’s tactics….she’s certainly left you no room to move there!
Comment by jellyhead — December 7, 2006 @ 3:09 pm |
Wow good secetary there, although saying that I do dislike going, so much that well I don’t actually have a dentist – trying to find one around here is kinda hard lists are long and unless you wanna “pay” through the nose not quick..
as for the other place well I’d worry If I got called there.
Root Canal work – that don’t sound nice.. I have had a few teeth out under local and oh boy was that no fun
Comment by Gopher — December 7, 2006 @ 3:28 pm |
Oh Funny – I wish I had such a great dentist! I also have MVP and the other annoying thing is remembering that my oral contraceptive is no longer effective until the next cycle – I hate that!!
Comment by Katherine — December 7, 2006 @ 3:36 pm |
Dentists are like auto mechanics. It’s hard to find a good one.
But yours sounds good! This story made me laugh. I resemble those remarks! That secretary is great!
Comment by sharon — December 8, 2006 @ 5:46 am |
My dentist’s receptionist always calls the day before to remind me.
Comment by Jean-Luc Picard — December 8, 2006 @ 1:11 pm |
Above and beyond! Tell you dentist to give her a raise!
Comment by Jamie — December 8, 2006 @ 4:31 pm |
I hate HATE HATE!!!!! the gynocologist. (Did I stress that enough?) But the dentist was always tolarable, probably because I haven’t had any work done on my teeth other than cleanings in over 17 years (my wisdom teeth don’t count, I don’t remember that procedure!). That all changed yesterday when I found out I had to have a filling replaced I got when I was 11 because it had worn out…I don’t like the dentist any more.
Comment by Amanda — December 8, 2006 @ 10:48 pm |
If they know you that well, I don’t think you’ll ever get out of one again!
Comment by Eunice — December 9, 2006 @ 1:47 pm |
I love going to the dentist but also have to take antibiotics before my visit because of a Teflon knuckle (that doesn’t work for crap) that I had installed in my finger when I was in high school after a newspaper pressroom accident.
The receptionist at my office has taken to reminding me also about my prescription when she sends out my appointment card and when she leaves a message on our answering machine the day before my visit.
Comment by Blitz Krieg — January 28, 2007 @ 9:20 am |